When the police in Auckland, New Zealand were called to shut down a loud party last Friday, they probably expected that the party-goers would be a bunch of kids. What they probably didn't expect is that the kids would all be about five years old. But that is exactly what they found when they responded to a complaint made by what can only be described as a cranky neighbor.

The One Tree Hill Kindergarten was in the midst of their annual disco party, rocking out to Bob the Builder and the Chicken Dance when noise control officials arrived on the scene around 6:30 pm. Teacher Jenny Skerritt said the officials seemed a bit "red faced" as they ordered them to turn it down or shut it down. "I don't think it was that ragey, but it's all a matter of perspective I guess," she said.

Perspective, indeed. The babies sleeping in the very next room obviously didn't think it was too loud. Nevertheless, they turned the music down and continued with their party. And just for kicks, they plan to frame that noise abatement notice for all to see.

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If you thought 'funny' lady Roseanne Barr had quietly disappeared to wherever it is that loud, opinionated comedians disappear to, you were wrong. She's still out there and she's still making her opinions known. A few days ago, she posted a rather nasty piece on her blog taking aim at actor John Voight, his daughter Angelina Jolie, as well as Brad Pitt and the kids.

Barr appears to be angry that Voight isn't supporting Barack Obama and that Jolie has said she likes McCain but is undecided as to who will get her vote. According to Barr, that makes Voight a "frightened little girl in a pink ballet tutu" and Jolie his "evil spawn." Brad did not escape Barr's wrath either as she refers to him as Jolie's "vacuous husband."

Addressing Jolie, Barr writes: "....it might be good for your Asian and African children's self esteem to know you support a brown man for the leader of the free world. How nice of Barr to be so concerned for the self-esteem of the Jolie-Pitt children. It is unfortunate that she refers to their biological children as "dunces that will consume more than their fair share and wreck the earth even more."

Of course, Barr is entitled to her opinions and her political point of view, but I am just not sure what she was trying to accomplish with this rant. Calling someone an evil spawn and referring to their children as dunces is probably not the best way to bring them around to your way of thinking.

Ghazala Khamis made history last week when she gave birth to seven apparently healthy babies via c-section, making her only the second mother ever to successfully give birth to septuplets. The children, four girls and three boys, all appear to be doing well and range in weight from 2 pounds to 4 pounds. Khamis recently told the media that she has only seen her children via TV, but that she intends to try and breastfeed them all. (Can you even imagine? Newborns feed up to 12 times a day. Twelve multiplied by seven equals... when do you go to the bathroom?)

Khamis and her farmer husband, who earns only £2 a day, one or two days per week, underwent IVF to conceive the children, in a desperate attempt to have a son. The couple are already parents to three daughters. Now that the babies are here, family members are concerned about how they'll care for them. The government has pledged free diapers and milk for two years, but what the family really needs, says Khamis's brother, is a home.

When I was in labor with our second (and last) child, I teased my husband that if he wanted a son, he was on his own, because two times through labor was enough for me. He reassured me that he was perfectly happy with his mini-brood of two girls. The pressure that women must feel in cultures that revere sons over daughters must be extraordinary. Khamis can breathe easy now that she has three sons, but the risks she had to take to get there had to be overwhelming, as their life will likely be from here on out.

Usually a school prank is a harmless trick or a clever gag designed to get attention and hopefully some laughs. But some pranks go way beyond what is considered amusing and venture into the sick and twisted territory. That would be the case with the prank 19-year-old Myles Frost pulled at Glenbard East High School near Chicago last year.

Frost has just been convicted of misdemeanor charges of animal cruelty and criminal defacement after scattering mutilated mice and a decapitated rat around his school campus in 2007. He left the rodent corpses in the stairwell, the bathroom, the drinking fountain and in the slot of a vending machine.

"Even if it's a prank, to say it's in bad taste would be an extraordinary understatement,'' said Judge Robert G. Kleeman. Judge Kleeman ordered Frost to undergo a psychological evaluation and serve two years probation. During the trial, Frost's attorney denied that his client was responsible for the disgusting prank, but a school official and the police say that Frost confessed to them.

According to his lawyer, Frost is continuing his education and has high hopes for his future. "He has dreams of working with animals -- that's really what his dream is," said Frank Fanella. I am sure his court-appointed psychologist will be very interested in hearing about those dreams.

It doesn't take a lot of foresight to realize the list of acceptable words or phrases acceptable to print little girl underpants is very short. But apparently the people involved in the production of Disney High School Musical panties either lack the skill of looking ahead or just aren't very bright when it comes to double entrendre.

A British woman bought a pack of High School Musical underpants for her seven-year-old granddaughter was appalled to find the words "Dive In" on one of pairs.

"I was extremely shocked when I saw what was on them and I don't believe Disney or anyone else is so stupid not to realize the implications of the wording they chose." said Sue Ralph who said she would never have made the purchase if the phrase had been visible through the packaging.

A Disney spokesperson: 'The knickers in question were designed using our High School Musical 2 artwork, which uses the creative theme of a swimming pool, as this is a key part of the film's storyline. Unfortunately a genuine oversight was made and the text on this product was used outside the context of the swimming pool. This product will not be part of any forthcoming collections."

While it's good to hear that the number of High School Musical fans wearing "Dive In!" panties will be limited, I still think it's a bit far-fetched that THAT many people could be that clueless. Sounds like what the Disney product development team really needs is the addition of parents with common sense to help them out.

For a country that seems a tad uptight when it comes to unusual baby names, Sweden sure has a lot of parents pushing the envelope. Elvis, Superman, Google and Lego are just a few examples of parents going for something a little different when choosing a name for their offspring. Until recently, odd names like those stood a good chance of being rejected by the Swedish tax authorities. But maybe they finally realized that banning something makes it even more attractive because they have recently decided to loosen up a little on the baby name ban.

Actually, according to tax authority spokesperson Lars Tegenfeldt, the shift in attitude is a reflection of the changing times. "There is nothing negative about a name like Coca-Cola or McDonald's today. In the 1970s, maybe it was," he says.

Budweiser and Metallica may now have the official seal of approval from the Swedish government, but there are still some names that will not be allowed. There will be no Gods, Allahs or Devils and swear words remain off-limits.

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Jerry Lee Lewis sang the words," There ain't nothing in the world like a big eyed girl to make me act so funny, make me spend my money..." In Japan, young girls are taking that to heart and putting special contact lenses in their eyes to make them appear larger. Available in a rainbow of colors, these lenses differ from ordinary tinted lenses in that they have an extra-wide outer ring that makes the iris of the eye appear much larger.

Of course, this big-eyed look wasn't inspired by Lewis' Chantilly Lace, but by Japanese anime cartoons, which feature characters with abnormally large eyes. And why would a young girl want to look like an anime cartoon? Because with their big eyes and tiny faces, they are adorable. And what young girl doesn't want to look adorable?

I will admit that I was initially creeped out by these photos of girls with anime eyes. But then I remembered that summer when I myself wore contact lenses tinted a most unnatural shade of turquoise blue. I thought I was all kinds of hot in those brightly colored lenses, but in reality I was probably looking a little creepy myself. I suspect it is just a matter of time before this trend makes its way to a young girl - or boy - near you.

The Olympics are all about healthy competition, but it isn't the cutthroat kind of competition found in the music industry. It's all about working hard, perserverance, good sportsmanship and trying your best. Or is it?!

Apparently in an effort to present the best, most attractive Western-looking face possible, nine-year-old Lin Miaoke was chosen to sing "Ode to the Motherland" during the opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics. There was only one problem: Miaoke' wasn't actually singing the song. The angelic voice heard by a billion people actually belonged to seven-year-old Yang Peiyi, whose face was deemed not adorable enough to represent China in the ceremony.

A British ex-pat Chris Smith, who has been living in Beijing for nine years, told a reporter: "It's because China is obsessed with promoting a certain look, girls should be more Western-looking with high cheekbones. They don't like rounded faces. Olympic officials also chose only tall, slim, attractive women of a certain look to hand out medals."

The music direction of the show Chen Qigang explained it this way, "This is in the national interest. It is the image of our national music, national culture, especially during the entrance of our national flag. This is an extremely important, extremely serious matter. I think it is fair to both Lin Miaoke and Yang Peiyi."

Having an attractive person serve as frontman for a more vocally talented, but less marketable singer is nothing new, just ask the surviving member of Milli Vanilli. It's too bad that people in power within the Chinese government that made this decision have not yet realized that imperfections are what makes kids so great.

There was no need to cobble together a super-kid, a child with a voice like that is guaranteed to awe and inspire the world.

For thousands of years, henna has served as a temporary way to add intricate and beautiful designs to the human body in North Africa, Egypt, India, and parts of the Middle East.

Body art created with pure henna, (an ink, which is actually paste made from the from dried leaves of a henna plant) starts out a dark brown/black color and is applied with a brush or squeeze bottle. After the henna paste completely dries, it falls off, leaving behind a stain of the design which will lasts about two weeks. Skin allergies to pure henna are uncommon.

However, as interest in henna body art grows in Western cultures, so do short-cuts and "improvements" to this ancient art. Street vendors and temporary booths found at concerts and summer festivals offer long-lasting tattoos made with "black henna"-henna with the addition of the chemical para-phenylene diamine (PPD). While longer lasting designs sounds good in theory, PPD can cause contact dermatitis and those lovely swirly designs are not nearly as attractive when rendered in oozing, swollen red blisters!

And if the oddity of a raised rash in an ornate design isn't bad enough, just one reaction to PPD can mean the sufferer could have an allergic reaction to even the slightest contact with the chemical for life. PPD can be an additive in: printer ink, hair dyes, photographic products, and black clothing and can cross-react with chemicals found in some medications for diabetes, heart disease and hypertension.

So while the advertisement might say that henna tattoo is temporary, it's best to err on the side of caution and make sure you know what kind of henna is being applied to you or your child's body. The ramifications could be long lasting.

Not only were all the eights aligned for the date of little Hailey Jo Hauer's birth yesterday, she also hit the eights on the scale. Yep, Lindsay and Joe Hauer's baby girl was born on 8/8/08 at 8:08 am and weighed in at exactly 8 pounds, 8 ounces!

She completely missed the eights in length, but not for lack of trying on the part of Nurse Jenny Harstad, who joked that she tried to shrink Hailey Jo down to 18 inches from her actual 19.5 inches.

The odds against this happening have got to be astronomical, right? The staff at Lake Region Hospital in Fergus Falls, Minnesota think so. After realizing that Hailey had hit the trifecta of eights, several of them decided it might a good day to buy a lottery ticket.

Congratulations to the Hauer family!

Most parents try to protect their children from criminal activity, but in a brazen attempt to burglarize an apartment while its tenants were still at home, two pregnant women put one of the women's toddlers right in the middle of the crime... and then abandoned him.

A 20-year-old woman and a pregnant teen climbed into the bedroom window of an apartment, with the two-year-old in tow. When the apartment's residents confronted the women, they fled, leaving the child behind. The women are now being charged with robbery and larceny, but the 20-year-old mother will face child abuse charges as well.

For the sake of this poor little boy, as well as the sibling that will be born in a few months, I hope these moms find the help they need to get back on track. Two-year-olds belong on a swing set, not a crime scene.

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My sons have walkie talkies; mostly they use them to talk to each other, from opposite ends of the house. Their conversations go something like this: "Can you hear me?" "What?" "I said CAN YOU HEAR ME?!?" "WHAT???"

Fun for everyone.

Recently, though, a West Virginia mom heard more than she anticipated over her three-year-old son's walkie talkie. The toy was apparently picking up CB conversations between truckers. If that weren't odd enough, the conversations included references to getting high and going to strip clubs; mom Deborah Pancaro describes them as "really explicit." The walkie talkie, made by Fisher Price, is designed to work at up to a distance of 20 feet, but somehow it was picking up CB radio transmissions from the guys driving on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, over 275 miles from Pancaro's Huntingon, West Virginia, home.

Pancaro wrote to Fisher Price asking for a recall of the Dora and Diego walkie talkies, because, she said, "I'd just hate for little kids to be hearing things like that." The company has apologized for what it terms a "disappointing experience" and has tried, unsuccessfully, to contact Pancaro twice this week. Maybe they need to use one of those walkie talkies to get in touch with her.

What say you -- should Fisher Price recall ALL the walkie talkies, or is this really not that big a deal?

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Here's a boy after my very own heart. Three-year-old Max McGrath woke up at 3 A.M. and decided he wanted a chocolate egg. So he put on his brother's shoes, grabbed some money, and even remembered his house key. Then he walked a mile and a half to the supermarket. What he hadn't counted on, of course, was the store being closed. As he stood outside, no doubt disappointed, he was spotted by a delivery driver who picked him up. The boy was safely delivered home to his shocked parents.

Did you hear about the toddler that drove himself to Applebee's? Or the boy who missed the bus and claimed he was kidnapped? How about the children who broke into a daycare to steal popsicles and Play-Doh, or the teens that went for a joyride in a steam locomotive?

I understand, Max. Sometimes you just have to have a little chocolate, even if it's 3 A.M.

In all seriousness, this situation could have ended badly. Max's parents call him an "adventurous" boy, but say they never thought he'd try something like this. I woke up early one Sunday about a year ago and spotted my neighbor's two-year-old standing on the curb across the street, munching on an apple. When I returned him home, his parents had a similar reaction -- shock and awe. My own kids won't even venture downstairs in the morning without one of us in tow, so it's hard to imagine them making a cross-town trek in the middle of the night.

What about you? Are you raising an escape artist? If so, do you have a plan in place to prevent your little one from getting out without you noticing?

For one thirteen-day-old baby, life is turning out to be no cake walk. A newborn brought into the world nearly two weeks ago by native Indian Priti Patel, who served as a surrogate mother, is stuck in India. Her would-be parents, Ikufumi Yamada and Yuki Yamada, divorced right before she was born.

Yuki no longer wants to adopt the child, but Ikufumi does. According to Indian law, however, children may not be adopted by single men. As a result, the newborn is living in India with Ikufumi 's mother, who is staying on to care for the newborn. The baby has yet to be adopted. Since she has no adoption papers, she cannot be issued a passport. And, because she can't get a passport, she can't leave the country.

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Patel has also left the scene after serving as the surrogate. She is part of a process known as commercial surrogacy wherein couples who cannot have a child on their own provide the sperm and eggs to a surrogate mother, who carries the child to term and then is paid a fee for her services. The couple then generally adopt their child and are on their merry way. Not so much for the twelve-day-old, who at this point I don't think even has a name! What a sad state things are in when a little technical legality keeps a man from legitimately adopting his own child!

Pic by ayahthetiger.

Officials in the UK have chosen to ban the word "obese" from letters being sent to parents about their children's weight. Instead the parents of these children will receive a letter saying such children are "very overweight." The move is being called both "prissy" and "namby pamby" by Tam Fry, a member of Board of the National Obesity Forum. Namby pamby? Regardless of what you call it, Fry feels a better approach is to just come clean with parents.

In the United States, we've tried to ban the word "fat" and have replaced it with the word "obese." This may or may not be having much of an impact on our nation or our youth as our waistlines continue to get bigger (while our wallets become smaller!). One person I know quite well, however, was in denial about his weight as a teenager until he saw a doctor write the word "obese" on his report during the physical he was required to get before he left for college. That person, at that exact point, took charge of his weight and his life.

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As for the UK, Primary Care Trusts, or PCTs, are being guided to measure children's height and weight at ages five and eleven. Parents can choose not to participate, and so can their children. In the event that both do choose to participate, the measurements will be sent by letter to the parents and not the children. Naturally, a good portion of the obese children are not participating in the measurements, thereby negating the attempt to correct the situation. Children as little as seven years of age are being diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, which was unheard of in the UK a decade ago.

What do you think? Should we go back to calling people fat? Should we call them obese? Should we only be telling their parents? Is there a good approach to any of this? I'd have to go with a quote from Aaron Neville on this one: Tell it like it is.

Pic by bethography - melting mama.