In some families, the original isn't always the best when it comes to fathers. For 'fragile families', described as low-income urban families prone to non marital births, mothers say that stepfathers are often more engaged, cooperative and willing to share responsibilities than married biological fathers.

A new study finds that while married biological fathers and stepfathers may be almost equally engaged with the children themselves, it is their interaction with mom that often makes stepfathers better parents. The mothers surveyed reported that stepfathers shared their parental views and were more open to talking about their parental wants than natural fathers. Rebekah Levine Coley, a developmental psychologist at Boston College, says this is probably because stepfathers "have to work harder to fit in and to have a useful productive role."

Coley says the findings contradict the popular view among social workers and experts that dads are more invested if the child is of their own flesh and blood. "I think this research does, to some extent, call some of those assumptions into question," she said.

The conclusions were made after interviewing 2,098 urban mothers from the The Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing study and will be published in the Journal of Marriage and Family.

Make sure your kids brush their teeth long enough with this simple trick

When the police in Auckland, New Zealand were called to shut down a loud party last Friday, they probably expected that the party-goers would be a bunch of kids. What they probably didn't expect is that the kids would all be about five years old. But that is exactly what they found when they responded to a complaint made by what can only be described as a cranky neighbor.

The One Tree Hill Kindergarten was in the midst of their annual disco party, rocking out to Bob the Builder and the Chicken Dance when noise control officials arrived on the scene around 6:30 pm. Teacher Jenny Skerritt said the officials seemed a bit "red faced" as they ordered them to turn it down or shut it down. "I don't think it was that ragey, but it's all a matter of perspective I guess," she said.

Perspective, indeed. The babies sleeping in the very next room obviously didn't think it was too loud. Nevertheless, they turned the music down and continued with their party. And just for kicks, they plan to frame that noise abatement notice for all to see.

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Tom Cruise is known for being an action hero of sorts -- from prancing about in his skivvies in Risky Business to chasing about as super spy Ethan Hunt in the Mission Impossible series -- but that doesn't mean he can't carry his kid's playthings out in public. In fact, he was spotted doing just that recently in New York.

From a stuffed bunny to a Cabbage Patch doll and from a coloring book to a baby bottle, he'll apparently carry anything his little Suri might need for a day or even a night on the town. So is he no longer the macho star he was before parenthood? Of course not! You can't get much more manly than to carry a child's toy for them, if you ask me.

No, if you want to rag on Tom Cruise, don't do it for taking care of his kid. There are plenty of other things to ridicule him for: his bad acting, the whole space alien religion thing, and his propensity for hopping up and down on talk show hosts' couches.

These days, traveling by air can be an extreme test of patience and restraint. Herded like cattle and crammed into tiny seats, most of us suffer quietly and try to make the best of the situation. Most of us adults do, anyway. Kids are often a little short on patience and restraint and being cooped up for hours in an airplane can be pure torture for them. And for those who sit anywhere near them.

What if there were a separate section on the plane where families traveling with children could sit? Wouldn't that make things a lot easier for everyone involved, including the frustrated parent who can't seem to get junior to sit still or use his inside voice? Airfare Watchdog asked that question and a whopping 85% of respondents said that airlines should have a section of the plane reserved for parents with babies and smaller children.

I wish there had been a kid section the first time I flew with a baby in tow. I thought I was being very considerate of my fellow passengers by keeping her quiet with bottle after bottle of apple juice plugged into her mouth. It kept her quiet alright. After about the fifth bottle, she quietly had a massive apple juice-induced blowout in her diaper, causing everyone in our immediate area to reach for their barf bags. I am sure each and every one of those passengers who caught a whiff and glimpse of that mess wished there were a separate section for kids. And I would have been happy to sit there.

But, as 27% of those polled agree, having a section just for babies and small kids will probably never happen and wouldn't work anyway. Airlines want to fill each and every seat and telling non-family traveling passengers that they have to sit in the loud, stinky section probably wouldn't go over too well.

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My wife pointed out this very interesting article about a woman's experience trying to get her five-year-old daughter into a kindergarten in London -- Nancy Zuckerbrod's family is moving across the pond. It turned out that her daughter Olivia was well behind what was expected of kids entering Kindergarten in England. She has what the head teacher of the British school called a "learning gap".

Apparently, five-year-olds in England can read, tell time, and handle fractions. Olivia is an intelligent girl who did attend pre-kindergarten in the US. Her education, however, included planting seeds, learning about insects, and "mastering the monkey bars," rather than the academic subjects the British kids were learning. At first, she felt pretty bad, but then decided that she was okay with where her daughter is, and she'll just have to catch up.

Play-based learning is the norm in American pre-schools, and, personally, I think that's the right way to go. Four-year-olds need to learn about the properties of matter, gravity and other natural forces, and creative expression through activities like playing in the sand box, building with blocks, and finger-painting before they need to get into the nuts and bolts of describing them with fractions and time.

There are, however, those who believe strongly in academic pre-schools, including, apparently, the UK. But, as Mrs. Zuckerbrod says, "a child's most important teachers are his or her parents." Her daughter will catch up, even as the British kids struggle to catch up on the monkey bars.

Is hiding vegetables in your kids' food wrong? What if that's the only way to get your child to eat something green (that isn't a booger)? One cookbook author strongly disagrees with the notion that it's ok to sneak healthy foods into unhealthy ones, and she's aiming to do something about it. On her blog and in her new cookbook, anyway. Tanya Steel is the author of the newly published "real food for healthy kids." She's also a "food professional." She and co-author Tracey Seaman instead focus on glorifying vegetables and trying to make them more appealing rather than sticking them in a brownie. According to Steel, who has a good point, why would we want to send the message to our children that brownies are GOOD for you, when in fact we have an obesity crisis on our hands in the United States?

Steel acknowledges that not all children are that easy to coax into eating anything green. She also demures that it can be difficult to work your way back up the beaten path of feeding your kids things that aren't as healthy because you've run out of options of what they'll actually eat. I can empathize with this problem. We recently ended a bout of our son refusing to eat ANYTHING other than Cheerios. Sure, they're healthier than pork rinds, but I didn't spend my entire pregnancy eating broccoli only to have my kid refuse to even look at a vegetable.

Steel offers suggestions to help steer kids in the right direction. She suggests offering kids "no thank you bites" to get them used to a new food and making sure to set a good example by eating healthy foods yourself. She also, of course, promotes her healthy eating cookbook. "real food for healthy kids" may not be The Joy of Cooking that Steel claims (whimsically) it is, but I'm sure there's something in that cookbook, as with any book designed with kids in mind, to offer nutritious alternatives for our children.

What do you think? Is deception the only way to get a vegetable-refuser to consume some legumes? Or is it best to just keep trying to offer different kinds of vegetables in the hopes that eventually you'll see change?

Pic by Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com.

Yes, yes, you read that right. Sad but true, the Public Broadcasting Service, better known as PBS, has decided to cut Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. If ever there were such a thing as true classic television, that has since gained cult status among us adults, it would be Mister Rogers' and that crazy red cardigan of his. He will be sorely missed by a large portion of Americans, even if out of nostalgia.

Mister Rogers is basically an institution. Like Sesame Street, the show was some of the best of what educational television has ever offered. He was a nice man that got children to actually trust men, and he always took the time to change his shoes. Comfort was big with this man, and so it is with many of us today. According to Brian Linder, the head of the savemisterrogers.com, who is spearheading a campaign to get PBS to think twice about relegating the show to member stations, the show continues to provide " a special nurturing voice in the lives of children." Yes--that's what I was trying to say! Linder believes Fred Rogers, bedecked in his red sweater (and, uhm, comfortable shoes), taught not only the young boy a thing or two, but also his parents.

Frankly, I think it's pure blasphemy to remove Mister Rogers from programming. Can someone please tell me another show that is possibly good enough to take its place? That's what I thought: SILENCE FROM THE INTERNET. So what is to be done? Well, join the campaign to save our favorite cardigan wearing nice guy. Do your part to let PBS know how you feel by visiting the website. For my part, I'm imagining Mister Rogers the movie. Clearly we need one. If something as vapid as the Smurfs can get a run on the silver screen, then by golly Mister Rogers has a posthumous Oscar headed his way. Question is, who would play him? Possibly Will Ferrell? Will is sort of a softy and a sweetheart, so maybe he's our man. Or, maybe Luke Wilson. That might not work though, as Wilson is sort of too hot to be Mister Rogers. Thoughts???

Are these shows supposed to take his place?

Although kids tend to accumulate more things than the average adult, they are often relegated to the smaller bedrooms in the house.

Last week, Congress passed a law designed to ensure that the massive toy recalls of 2007 are not repeated. The bill, awaiting the signature of President Bush, gives the Consumer Product Safety Commission a larger budget, increases the fines for companies who don't comply with the new stricter rules, and forces those companies to take responsibility for making sure safety standards are met in toy design and manufacture.

But it isn't just lead paint and loose magnets the bill hopes to eliminate. The new law also bans six types of phthalates in children's toys. Phthalates is a chemical commonly found in plastics that may disrupt the hormonal development of children. The bill completely bans three types of phthalates - di-(2-ethylhexyl) phthalate (DEHP), dibutyl phthalate (DBP), and benzyl butyl phthalate (BBP). Three others are temporarily banned pending a study of their effects on children and pregnant women.

This is clearly a step in the right direction, but many believe that banning phthalates is just the beginning. "This has started a dialogue on what else is needed," says Janet Nudelman of Breast Cancer Fund. What is needed, she says, is the passage of the Kid Safe Chemical Act, which would require all chemicals be proven safe for children.

In the meantime, banning phthalates is likely enough to change the face of the toy industry. All those plastic playthings littering your child's room may soon become relics of the past. But buyer beware: this law will not have any impact on toys already on the shelf. Maybe it is time to revisit the past and experience the joys of simple wooden toys. Or perhaps a game of kick the can will keep the kids occupied while everyone figures out how to make toys safe again.

Since I posted a list of ways to make your child's teacher love you last week, I figured I'd follow up with a list of list of things I suggest you might avoid doing as a parent... if you want your child's teacher to like you.

Of course, this isn't to say that if you do something on the list, your kid's teacher will immediately despise you, because teachers are by nature and profession both forgiving and ridiculously patient and understanding. Still. It might be a good idea to take some mental notes-as all of these things have really happened. Some with surprising frequency. And they kind of make teachers nuts.

1) If you send a note or email, don't also call and leave a message about the content of the note. We'll get the note/email. Promise.

2) Unless it's school policy don't "stop by" first thing in the morning as the kids are just arriving to talk. In fact, even if your school allows this, it's not the best time. Usually your child's teacher wants to greet her students, and those precious 10 minutes of arrival time mean getting a last sip of coffee, reviewing lesson plans, and hearing little antecdotes from individual students. If you just want to "talk" about how things are going, write a note, email, or leave a message asking when is a good time to do so.

3) Don't say YOU DONT DO EMAIL. It's the twenty-first century. EMAIL. End of story.

4) Do not ask your child's teacher to remind your 1st grader (or older) to use the bathroom, blow her nose, use chapstick, etc. By first grade your kid should get the hang of this. Write him a note and stick it in his lunchbox if he really needs reminding.

5) If your child is doing well in school, don't harp on your teacher for the things she is not doing (i.e. if your kid is doing well in math, don't criticize the math program.)

6) Don't imply (without spending quality time in your child's classroom) that the teacher doesn't pay enough attention to your child. (Yes, parents really say this. My colleagues will attest.) Chances are, your kid is getting more than their fair share. Teachers love kids. THAT IS WHY WE TEACH. We have your kid's best interest in mind.

If you are concerned about your child, start by acknowledging the fact that your child's teacher has other kids to teach also. Don't imply that your child deserves more attention than any other kid; chances are this will make your child's teacher want to give your kid less attention. Not that she will. But it will certainly make her want to. (Yes, parents have really suggested this on more than one occasion.)

7) Even if your child is gifted, trust that your child's teacher is doing everything in her power to nurture your child as a well-rounded learner. Do not say things like, "what are you doing to prepare my child for the SAT's?" when your kid is in FIRST GRADE.

8) Don't belittle or berate your child's teacher in front of her students. It's obnoxious. And entirely inappropriate. (This has happened at least once to every teacher I know.)

9) Don't imply that it is your child's teacher's responsibility to remediate current flaws in the district curriculum. It isn't. We're contractually bound to teach the curriculum provided. But chances are, if there really is a problem with the curriculum, a committee is working on it. So be patient.

10) And most importantly, don't try to discuss your child's social, emotional, or academic needs or concerns in front of your child, or with other student's present. YOUR CHILD WILL HEAR YOU AND FEEL AWFUL. Also, it's just totally poor taste. So don't do it.

Does anyone have any other tips to add?

If you're tired of cheap broken puzzle and game boxes spilling bits and pieces everywhere, try this method for keeping it all together.

The name of this column is "Childhood Unplugged", but that doesn't mean an Amish existence is the only way to get kids to flex their creative muscles! Advances in technology make it possible for even young children to accomplish amazing things with electronics that are much more educational (and fun!) than achieving a high score on Guitar Hero or amassing enormous bank accounts on Rune-Scape.

Back when I was a kid (before the days of Atari 2600 's Tank Pong, mind you) the most advanced technology allowed in grubby little hands was a tape recorder. Working with what we had, my siblings and I created news broadcasts, commercials complete with cheesy rhyming jingles, and found ways to make some amazing sounds effects and not-so-amazing voices to narrate recreations of our favorite fairy tales and children's books. (The Three Little Pigs was one of our best works due to my wise casting of a little brother with the inability to pronounce the letter L , in the role of the big bad wolf. The resultant, "Widdle Pig! Widdle Pig! Wet me come in!" was a definite crowd pleaser.)

Is it ok to set potty training deadlines? I mean for ourselves as well as our kids. Way back when it seems children were potty trained pretty quickly. Now, common wisdom holds you wait until the kid is at least three or that each child takes as long as necessary for that child to, er, get on the pot, so to speak. On the other side of the coin, though, many children must be potty trained in order to attend preschool or daycare.

But when is the right time? How do you tell when the right time is for your child? Also, with that in mind, is it ok to set goals, of any sort, for your child? I have a friend who decided she was spacing her children apart enough so that she would never have two babies in diapers at the same time. This would mean the first one would have to be toilet trained by the time the second one came along. No way of knowing whether or not that would be possible, of course, as every child is different, but it's a noble effort.

I would love it if my sixteen-month-old son were potty trained by the time he hit two years old. I don't know if this is realistic or laughable. I don't even know when a good time to get started on the training is. A colleague of mine, who is from another country, said that in her homeland the children started toilet training as soon as they were able to sit up on their own! She said she knew of kids as young as six months being potty trained! And why two years old for me as a deadline? I don't mind changing two sets of diapers, but I do mind the cost (if I go with disposables). Also, the thought of only one child in diapers at a time has its appeal. Finally, maybe what it all comes down to is that it just seems like the "right" time.

What about you? Did you set deadlines for potty training?

• Luggage? Check!
• Boarding pass? Check!
• Liquids and lotions properly distilled or stowed? Check!
• Passports and proper identification at the ready? Check and check!
• Duty-free shopping present and accounted for? Check!
• All your children boarded and buckled on the plane? Uh-oh.

In frightening repeat of the toddler who was accidentally left behind in a Canadian airport when traveling with his parents and grandparents, a four-year-old was found wandering around a Tel Aviv airport when her family accidentally took off on a Parisian vacation without her. The parents of the girl were apparently overwhelmed because in addition to traveling with five children, they were reportedly wrangling a staggering EIGHTEEN suitcases. Until the pilot informed the family (over the loudspeaker for maximum embarrassment, ouch!) that their child had been left at the airport, they hadn't even noted she was missing.

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As the mom of a large-ish family (I have four kids), I can't fathom this happening. Whenever we travel as a group, I'm mentally doing headcounts and miss out on all the people watching as I'm keeping everyone in my clan within eyesight at all times. No one can wander away from the group (including my husband and I!) without letting an adult know. So far the system has worked and we have never left a man (or child!) behind.

The little forgotten girl was escorted by a flight attendant on the next flight to Paris where she was reunited with her family with the biggest trump card to pull out of her back pocket ..... for the rest of her life. "Remember that time you left me at the airport and I was so scared?"

Police say her parents will be questioned upon their return and may be charged with negligence.