In some families, the original isn't always the best when it comes to fathers. For 'fragile families', described as low-income urban families prone to non marital births, mothers say that stepfathers are often more engaged, cooperative and willing to share responsibilities than married biological fathers.

A new study finds that while married biological fathers and stepfathers may be almost equally engaged with the children themselves, it is their interaction with mom that often makes stepfathers better parents. The mothers surveyed reported that stepfathers shared their parental views and were more open to talking about their parental wants than natural fathers. Rebekah Levine Coley, a developmental psychologist at Boston College, says this is probably because stepfathers "have to work harder to fit in and to have a useful productive role."

Coley says the findings contradict the popular view among social workers and experts that dads are more invested if the child is of their own flesh and blood. "I think this research does, to some extent, call some of those assumptions into question," she said.

The conclusions were made after interviewing 2,098 urban mothers from the The Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing study and will be published in the Journal of Marriage and Family.

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As kids head back to school with new backpacks and sneakers and grins missing teeth, you're breathing a sigh of relief. Right? Isn't that what you're doing?

Well, maybe not if your child is going to school for the first time (if that's the case, deep breath, everything will be FINE....) But for kids heading back to school for the second year, or the fifth for that matter, you know your child is re-entering the realm of structured routines, after school activities, and yes, homework.

Is it a good thing? The homework, I mean. Some parents say it's the best thing ever--and they hound me from day one for more homework, more homework. Others say the opposite, and wonder why I ever send any homework home at all.

In my opinion homework in the elementary grades serves only one purpose: to get young students into routine of doing homework in preparation for the later grades. Other than that, I think it interferes with the meaningful and enriching activities children should be doing after school and at home with their families. Call me a renegade, but there is quite a bit of research out there to support my view.

Don't get me wrong-I'm not saying children should go home and play video games all afternoon. I think every child should spend time with books every single day--reading independently and being read. I also think that parents should involve their children in other meaningful academic activities that are incorporated into daily life--like playing math games, or doing research on a topic that the child is interested in.

But homework for homework's sake when your kid is 6 years old? I'm not convinced.

I'm curious. Do you think homework in the early grades is important and necessary--or is it overrated, and perhaps taking precious time away from other activities children could be doing?

School should be a safe place, one where kids can concentrate on learning, not on staying alive. Sadly, however, that's not always the case. "If you're afraid you're going to get beat up after school, it's hard to concentrate when you're in algebra class," said David Kopperud of the California Department of Education. In 1998, the World Health Organization surveyed more than fifteen thousand sixth through tenth grade students and found that nearly a third had been involved in bullying.

There are serious consequences of bullying and not just for the students directly involved. The American Medical Association estimates that as many as 160,000 kids refuse to go to school each day because of bullying. The kids miss out on their education and the schools lose their funding. Further, kids can end up with problems that affect their relationships, self-esteem, and emotional well-being. The U.S. Secret Service found that three out of four school shooters were bullied.

These days, there's an added twist to the problem -- the internet. Bullying has become "more extreme, more humiliating and more public," according to Elayne Savage, a psychotherapist and author of "Don't Take It Personally: The Art of Dealing With Rejection." She sees the effects of bullying in her adult clients too. "You never forget the hurtful slurs and actions," she says.

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How do your kids get to school? How did you get to school when you were a kid? Taking the yellow school bus, walking or riding a bike may all seem like normal methods of getting to school. In the modern world, we drive and carpool as well. But what about in urban environments where a lot of parents don't drive or even own a car? They take the subway.

And they do it ALONE. That's right--I've seen it myself. Kids popping onto and off of the subway without a parent in sight. How do they manage it? And why, you might wonder, do their parents let them do it? Well, necessity is the mother of invention and a lot of other things, it turns out. Kids are going in one direction, their parents in another (to school versus work), and the main way to get around town in New York, for example, is underground.

Turns out, it's probably safer too. Driving in this city is a disaster on a good day. You're a LOT less likely to get into an accident on the subway than you are in your car. Plus, the kids tend to travel in packs on the subway. I never see a kid get onto an empty car at an odd (non-rush hour) time. They pick which car to meet up on and collect as the train makes its stops toward their final destination. I know because I can hear them screeching above my iPod.

Since 1992, author R. L. Stine has been scaring the pants off young readers with his Goosebumps books. The science fiction/horror series for the under-twelve set has inspired several board games, PC games and even a television series. Having already made tons of money for Stine and Scholastic, the Goosebumps series may soon be making even more.

With Stine's recent release of a new 12-book series, Goosebumps in Horrorland, and a forthcoming video game, the series is seeing a resurgence in popularity. Columbia Pictures wants to get in on that and are currently negotiating with screenwriters to bring the books to life on the big screen. Just which book will be adapted hasn't been determined yet, but considering that the Goosebumps books are second only to the Harry Potter series in making money for Scholastic, you can assume it will be popular.

Or will it? Aren't the kids who made the Goosebumps series so popular adults now? And reading a scary horror book is a lot different than actually seeing it up on the big screen. Will you let your kid see it?

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This summer, the Olympics are providing lots of great family entertainment. The opening ceremony's parade of nations inspired my son to plop his globe on the kitchen table for an impromptu geography game. The gymnastics and swimming competition stirred discussions about health, discipline and sportsmanship. But it's the Olympic host country itself that is generating the best conversations.

My kids have always been fascinated by China. Evidence of their love for all things Chinese abounds. My Chinese bathrobes have been absorbed into their play clothes collection; they beg to use chop sticks (even if we're having spaghetti); they can be convinced to eat new vegetables if I proclaim them "Chinese"; they love Mulan; and my four year-old regularly breaks into a foreign language she claims is Chinese. We have high hopes that the Beijing Olympics and accompanying coverage will expand their knowledge of China beyond Kung Fu Panda and Chinese restaurants.

Thanks to years of careful planning on the part of the Chinese government, China put on the most spectacular opening ceremony in recent memory. Viewers were rightfully dazzled by the combination of Chinese artistry and technology. If my kids are any indication, interest in China is at an all-time high.

Vanessa Lovelace and her son Lenny were both excited about enrolling him in his new school in Kenosha, Wisconsin until it came to actually filling out the enrollment forms. In the section where it asked what race/ethnic group the child belonged to, none of the available options fit 10-year-old Kenny. Lovelace was asked to choose from Asian/Pacific Islander, Black not Hispanic, Hispanic, American Indian/Alaska native, or White not Hispanic. Since Kenny is biracial with one white parent and one black, Lovelace checked both Black and White boxes.

That didn't go over well with the secretary at the Kenosha Unified School District's Educational Support Center. "She handed the form back to me and said I had to pick one, otherwise, someone would pick his race for me," Lovelace said. District policy dictates that if the race of the child is not indicated by the person filling out the form, an "observer identification" must be made. By that logic, Kenny Lovelace looks white, so he is white.

How is it that a form with such a narrow field of choices should even exist? According to Patrick Gasper, of the Wisconsin Department of Public Instruction, a multi-racial category has been allowed since 2007, but that change won't go into effect for all Wisconsin public school districts until the 2010-11 school year.

If you are wondering why the school even needs to have a check box for a child's race, Gasper explains that as well. He says that racial demographic data is gathered by the federal government and can indirectly affect funding for certain programs. He encourages parents in the district to choose a race even if it is incorrect, otherwise their child cannot be enrolled in school.

With the change allowing a biracial checkbox not going into effect for several years, Lovelace is considering her options. She is thinking about moving back to Illinois, where Kenny attended school last year, or even homeschooling him. But in the end, it is Kenny who is stuck in the middle and feeling like the odd one out. "It made me feel kind of weird," he said. "I'm sad because I'm not only one race. I'm black and I'm white."

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Around here, nothing ruins Friday game night quicker than a bad deal on Uno. As my seven-year-old draws card after card, not getting what she needs to play, her chin starts to quiver and her eyes fill with tears. "It's not fair!" she howls as she finally gives in to the frustration and tosses her cards on the table in disgust. Yes, she's a sore loser.

I've witnessed this scene many times and it never fails to bring back memories of my own childhood. You see, I was a sore loser, too. My family played cards a lot and if I wasn't winning, I was pouting. If the pouting didn't work, I would begin complaining loudly. If things still didn't turn around, I would inevitably quit the game and stomp off in anger. Eventually, they stopped letting me play.

I don't understand why it was so important for me to win, but it was. And those feelings of frustration, anger and the unfairness of it all were very real to me, as I know they must be for Ellie. By this age, she knows that her sore loser behavior is unacceptable and she tries, she really tries, but she just can't help herself.

I never grew out of my competitiveness, but I did learn to handle the disappointment of losing. Unfortunately, what it took for me was being excluded from games not only by my family, but by my friends, too. Being known as the cry-baby loser among my peers was a painful experience and I am trying to help Ellie avoid that. We've had the "it's just a game" talk and we've discussed ways she can try to calm herself when she gets upset.

I've read that sore losers like Ellie (and myself) generally fall into two categories: those who are by nature easily frustrated and angered and those whose self-esteem is tied to winning and who worry about what others think of them. I think there is a little of both at play here. Do you have a sore loser in your house? How have you helped them deal?

Remember Bill Nye the Science Guy? Sort of a cross between Pee-Wee Herman and Mr. Wizard? Well, it's been about ten years since his TV show ended, but now he's set to return to the small screen in a new show called Stuff Happens, on a new channel dedicated to green living, Planet Green. On the show, Nye will explain "what happens when we use stuff, where it goes when we're through with it, and what impact it all has on the environment and the entire planet."

It appears the thirteen-part series will target an older audience than his previous show, but with "astonishing information, easy-to-follow science, lighthearted demonstrations, expert interviews and connective story-telling to amplify growing problems in the environment and important solutions," it sounds like it would be great for any kid old enough to care about science and the environment.

The first episode kicks off the series in the bathroom, exploring the impact of what goes on in the throne room. Other episodes will cover the bedroom, the attic, dinner, and breakfast. The first episode airs September 2 at 9pm Eastern. I think we'll be checking it out.

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I was pretty much a klutz growing up. In fact, I still am. But I'm not obese (although in the last two months of my pregnancy I do feel rather large!). Is there any real connection between the two? Perhaps so, if we're to believe the findings of another recent study.

According to a new report on Reuters, there is a growing pool of evidence suggesting such a link between children with poor cognitive function and adults with type 2 diabetes or who are obese. A study of British children between the ages of seven and eleven (that started in 1958) yielded the results: those with the worst congitive skills were also the most likely to be obese later in life. Researchers were quick to point out these children were no larger than the rest of the kids at the time, meaning weight was not to blame for their being clumsy.

In fact, factors such as body mass at childhood and social class were both taken into account and adjusted. The findings were still solid. So what causes the link (if indeed there realy is one)? Well, that is the question, isn;t it? Researchers considered smoking during pregnancy a possibility as well as children not getting enough exercise during childhood--which is critical to developing fine motor skills.

pic by vlauria.

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I was at least twelve years old before I was allowed to cross the street by myself. It was several years after that I was allowed to stay home alone during the summer while my parents were at work instead of going to summer camp. I always felt like I could have stayed home earlier; now that I'm a parent I know how my parents felt: it was NEVER time to leave me home alone!

So at what age is it appropriate to start leaving your little ones home alone--without a babysitter? A recent New York Times article tackles that very question. There are few laws or guidelines to help us make such decisions. Pediatricians don't have much to offer. Ultimately, it becomes a decision between the parents and the child. Both have to feel ready to allow such a thing to occur. And, generally, it starts with an experiment. Leave the kid at home alone while you visit a neighbor for a cup of sugar (do people still do that?). Next time leave her home alone while you pick up the dry cleaning, and so on.

Many states see the tender age of 12 as the start of this new way of life. Twelve is different for each child. How the kid reacts makes all the difference in the world too, as does the general personality of the child. Is your child independent and can get things done on his own? Does your child fear being alone or throw temper tantrums? Do you find your child is in trouble all the time, even when you're around? All these things are taken into consideration when deciding to leave a kid at home. Many parents also have no choice but to leave their children alone--scary but true--even when they're not yet twelve. Luckily things like cell phones and other modern technologies have made it easier for us to keep in touch with our children.

I'm terrified to even think of letting my child stay at home alone or go anywhere alone in New York City, but I know it's a future I face. What about you? When did you let your children start staying at home alone? Was it earlier or later than when you stayed home alone as a kid?

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For some parents, the typical kids' chore chart ends up being more chore than it's worth.

Whether it's from improvements in nutrition or chemicals in the food, the fact is many children are physically maturing at a much earlier age. While menstruation used to start around age 12, girls are reaching that developmental milestone much earlier, which is one of the reason salons are seeing the age of hair removal clients getting younger and younger.

"It's not uncommon for girls to get their period at 9 or 10 years old, and with that development comes increased hair growth," said Dr. Doris Pastor, a clinical associate professor of pediatrics at Mount Sinai Hospital.

Taking an early developer's feelings into consideration and getting hair removal at a young age to prevent or curb teasing is one thing, but salon workers see more than just motherly concern from some women. Many pre-teen hair removal appointments are for girls accompanied by women who appear to be trying to make their daughters look perfect.

"I had a mother who brought her daughter in, pulled up her shirt and asked us to wax the girl's back. The hair didn't seem to be bothering the little girl, but the mom was embarrassed and wanted it done," said Diane Fisher, owner of Eclips Salon and Eclips Kids Day Spa in McLean and Ashburn, Va. "I told the mom to wait until the child wanted it, but she refused." That little girl was just six years old.

Humans aren't supposed to be completely hairless save for the top of their head and eyebrows, but it seems like the new ideal is to look like a life-size Bratz doll. That there are mothers so invested in the appearance of their kindergartner's backs that they're willing to pay to have hot wax applied and the hair yanked off appalls me.

What is going on with the adults?!

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Science may not have figured out exactly what causes some girls to hit puberty early, but experts are working on how to help those girls get through it. It is well established that girls who experience early onset puberty often struggle with behavioral issues such as delinquency, violence, drug abuse and eating disorders. A new study, published in the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, indicates that more parental involvement may be just what an early-maturing girl needs to avoid those pitfalls.

"Helping parents develop positive parenting skills may help early-maturing girls to grow into healthy, well-adjusted adolescents and adults," said Sylvie Mrug, a University of Alabama at Birmingham psychologist who led the study.
As part of a larger study on the welfare of children, researchers examined the behavior and family situations of 330 fifth-grade girls, one fourth of whom had started their periods before the age of eleven. What they found was that the girls who experienced early onset puberty and had low levels of parental involvement in their lives were more likely to display socially aggressive behaviors like fighting and teasing.

In other words, just because your little girl is becoming a woman doesn't mean she doesn't need her parents to continue to set limits and stay connected. In fact, early onset puberty means she needs you even more.

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Where I live, the first of the leaves have begun to turn red on a handful of maples, and the crickets are singing their ruckus end of summer song. In a matter of days, school will start.

In a matter of days, if you have a kindergartner or first grader, your child will be embarking on a completely new academic adventure. Back pack in tow, your kid will climb onto a yellow school bus at the curb, or perhaps you'll drive her there and watch as she runs towards her classroom door with a lump the size of a mango pit in your throat.

The first day of school is a nervy, butterflies-in-your-stomach kind of morning for everyone--and to make sure it goes as smoothly as possible, here are a list of a few things to expect and remember on that all important day.

Start the morning with a good breakfast. Much research has been done about the link between breakfast and academic success. And while the first few days (or weeks even) of kindergarten and first grade are less about plunging into academics and more about building a strong classroom community, a good breakfast will give your child an added boost of confidence. Hungry kids are often anxious and moody, and sugar-packed pop tarts and other breakfast items often leave kids crashing mid morning. Opt for oatmeal with brown sugar and raisins, french toast, scrabbled eggs, or even, my son's favorite (our family's version of a toad in the hole): a grilled bagel with a fried egg in the hole.

Pack a healthy snack. After your child arrives in her new classroom, she'll likely spend the morning doing fun activities such as drawing, writing her name and decorating a name tag, and participating in a morning meeting where all the children will get to meet each other and be introduced. Before she starts to delve into the academic part of the morning your child will probably have a chance to eat snack. Remember, many--if not most--classrooms have children with peanut and nut allergies, so instead of packing these stand-bys opt for other protein rich options like a mini bagel & cream cheese, string cheese, yogurt, or veggies & hummus. Your child probably won't eat a lot--so instead of packing a huge amount of one thing, pack small amounts of foods your child likes in reusable containers (think GREEN!)

Include a note. New kindergartners and first graders love getting notes--and their teachers will always be willing to read them--so don't worry if your child can't read yet. Something as simple as "We are so proud of you!" on a post-it, or as fancy as a little letter on specialized princess stationary will make the rest of your child's morning just that much more positive.

After snack your child will probably spend some time exploring books, even if she is not yet a reader, and some time investigating basic math concepts. Your child might also have the chance to meet a few more new teachers if her class has a "special" like music, art, P.E. or technology scheduled for the morning.

Make sure your child will be having a healthy lunch. If your child will be eating a hot lunch from the cafeteria--go over the lunch options in advance, so that there are no tears when she gets something she doesn't want to eat. On days that the menu doesn't work, or if you send a cold lunch every day, remember to think in terms of something from every food group. There are so many great blogs and websites out there right now to provide inspiration for school lunches. I'm kind of into the idea of bento boxes--except, does anyone really have as much time as this super mom to make your kid's lunch look this cool?

In the afternoon your child will probably spend some time listening to a read aloud, doing an art or craft activity, writing, and sharing. A good lunch will give her the necessary foundation for afternoon success and happiness. One thing I can't help but rant about here--because I see it every year--are those ridiculous pre-packaged lunches. The portion sizes are too small--for any of the foods that contain actual nutritional content--and they are packed with sugar and sodium which invariably result in grumpy tired kids. Skip them except for an occasional treat (if at all.)

Be on time to pick your child up. Whether you're meeting your child at the bus stop, or picking her up at school--nothing is worse for your kiddo than expecting to see you...and then not. If you're running really late or are stuck in traffic, call the school secretary and she'll pass the message on to your child's teacher.

Ask specific questions. Without a doubt your child will have an amazing first day--but when you ask her "How was your day?" Odds are she'll say "Fine." And that will be that. The trick to finding out more about your kid's day is to ask her specific questions--like: "Did you find someone to play with at recess?" "What was your favorite thing about lunch time?" or "Did your teacher read a book to the class today?" These kinds of questions will get your child started talking--and soon you'll know all about how their first day went.

As a teacher, the first day of school is one of my favorite days. I love watching the kids come in and get started--bustling and eager, or shy and reserved. I love their new school clothes and their brand new back packs and their ready grins. Happy back-to-school!