In some families, the original isn't always the best when it comes to fathers. For 'fragile families', described as low-income urban families prone to non marital births, mothers say that stepfathers are often more engaged, cooperative and willing to share responsibilities than married biological fathers.

A new study finds that while married biological fathers and stepfathers may be almost equally engaged with the children themselves, it is their interaction with mom that often makes stepfathers better parents. The mothers surveyed reported that stepfathers shared their parental views and were more open to talking about their parental wants than natural fathers. Rebekah Levine Coley, a developmental psychologist at Boston College, says this is probably because stepfathers "have to work harder to fit in and to have a useful productive role."

Coley says the findings contradict the popular view among social workers and experts that dads are more invested if the child is of their own flesh and blood. "I think this research does, to some extent, call some of those assumptions into question," she said.

The conclusions were made after interviewing 2,098 urban mothers from the The Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing study and will be published in the Journal of Marriage and Family.

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As kids head back to school with new backpacks and sneakers and grins missing teeth, you're breathing a sigh of relief. Right? Isn't that what you're doing?

Well, maybe not if your child is going to school for the first time (if that's the case, deep breath, everything will be FINE....) But for kids heading back to school for the second year, or the fifth for that matter, you know your child is re-entering the realm of structured routines, after school activities, and yes, homework.

Is it a good thing? The homework, I mean. Some parents say it's the best thing ever--and they hound me from day one for more homework, more homework. Others say the opposite, and wonder why I ever send any homework home at all.

In my opinion homework in the elementary grades serves only one purpose: to get young students into routine of doing homework in preparation for the later grades. Other than that, I think it interferes with the meaningful and enriching activities children should be doing after school and at home with their families. Call me a renegade, but there is quite a bit of research out there to support my view.

Don't get me wrong-I'm not saying children should go home and play video games all afternoon. I think every child should spend time with books every single day--reading independently and being read. I also think that parents should involve their children in other meaningful academic activities that are incorporated into daily life--like playing math games, or doing research on a topic that the child is interested in.

But homework for homework's sake when your kid is 6 years old? I'm not convinced.

I'm curious. Do you think homework in the early grades is important and necessary--or is it overrated, and perhaps taking precious time away from other activities children could be doing?

Make sure your kids brush their teeth long enough with this simple trick

When the police in Auckland, New Zealand were called to shut down a loud party last Friday, they probably expected that the party-goers would be a bunch of kids. What they probably didn't expect is that the kids would all be about five years old. But that is exactly what they found when they responded to a complaint made by what can only be described as a cranky neighbor.

The One Tree Hill Kindergarten was in the midst of their annual disco party, rocking out to Bob the Builder and the Chicken Dance when noise control officials arrived on the scene around 6:30 pm. Teacher Jenny Skerritt said the officials seemed a bit "red faced" as they ordered them to turn it down or shut it down. "I don't think it was that ragey, but it's all a matter of perspective I guess," she said.

Perspective, indeed. The babies sleeping in the very next room obviously didn't think it was too loud. Nevertheless, they turned the music down and continued with their party. And just for kicks, they plan to frame that noise abatement notice for all to see.

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Yesterday, I took my five-year-old for a back-to-school haircut. She'd decided she'd had enough of her long, straight hair and wanted a chin length bob. At home it seemed like a good idea, but when the stylist lifted her scissors to cut off that first length of hair, I nearly had to hang on to the counter to stop myself from snatching her back out of that chair.

That's pretty close to how I feel about the upcoming first day of kindergarten. It's not about the hair, of course, it's about the letting go and letting her grow up. Kindergarten is a huge milestone, but part of me wants to scoop her up and tell the world, "You can't have her yet. She's still all mine."

NYMetroParents has some good advice for parents facing that first day of kindergarten, two that especially stick out for me. The first is that, no matter how ambivalent I might be feeling about school starting next week, my game face is always on for my daughter. We talk frequently about how much fun it's going to be, how exciting it is to start "big girl school," how it'll be great to see her preschool friends again and make new friends as well. Though I'm watching her closely for signs of anxiety or nerves, I keep my personal angst to myself.

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This summer, the Olympics are providing lots of great family entertainment. The opening ceremony's parade of nations inspired my son to plop his globe on the kitchen table for an impromptu geography game. The gymnastics and swimming competition stirred discussions about health, discipline and sportsmanship. But it's the Olympic host country itself that is generating the best conversations.

My kids have always been fascinated by China. Evidence of their love for all things Chinese abounds. My Chinese bathrobes have been absorbed into their play clothes collection; they beg to use chop sticks (even if we're having spaghetti); they can be convinced to eat new vegetables if I proclaim them "Chinese"; they love Mulan; and my four year-old regularly breaks into a foreign language she claims is Chinese. We have high hopes that the Beijing Olympics and accompanying coverage will expand their knowledge of China beyond Kung Fu Panda and Chinese restaurants.

Thanks to years of careful planning on the part of the Chinese government, China put on the most spectacular opening ceremony in recent memory. Viewers were rightfully dazzled by the combination of Chinese artistry and technology. If my kids are any indication, interest in China is at an all-time high.

Around here, nothing ruins Friday game night quicker than a bad deal on Uno. As my seven-year-old draws card after card, not getting what she needs to play, her chin starts to quiver and her eyes fill with tears. "It's not fair!" she howls as she finally gives in to the frustration and tosses her cards on the table in disgust. Yes, she's a sore loser.

I've witnessed this scene many times and it never fails to bring back memories of my own childhood. You see, I was a sore loser, too. My family played cards a lot and if I wasn't winning, I was pouting. If the pouting didn't work, I would begin complaining loudly. If things still didn't turn around, I would inevitably quit the game and stomp off in anger. Eventually, they stopped letting me play.

I don't understand why it was so important for me to win, but it was. And those feelings of frustration, anger and the unfairness of it all were very real to me, as I know they must be for Ellie. By this age, she knows that her sore loser behavior is unacceptable and she tries, she really tries, but she just can't help herself.

I never grew out of my competitiveness, but I did learn to handle the disappointment of losing. Unfortunately, what it took for me was being excluded from games not only by my family, but by my friends, too. Being known as the cry-baby loser among my peers was a painful experience and I am trying to help Ellie avoid that. We've had the "it's just a game" talk and we've discussed ways she can try to calm herself when she gets upset.

I've read that sore losers like Ellie (and myself) generally fall into two categories: those who are by nature easily frustrated and angered and those whose self-esteem is tied to winning and who worry about what others think of them. I think there is a little of both at play here. Do you have a sore loser in your house? How have you helped them deal?

I was pretty much a klutz growing up. In fact, I still am. But I'm not obese (although in the last two months of my pregnancy I do feel rather large!). Is there any real connection between the two? Perhaps so, if we're to believe the findings of another recent study.

According to a new report on Reuters, there is a growing pool of evidence suggesting such a link between children with poor cognitive function and adults with type 2 diabetes or who are obese. A study of British children between the ages of seven and eleven (that started in 1958) yielded the results: those with the worst congitive skills were also the most likely to be obese later in life. Researchers were quick to point out these children were no larger than the rest of the kids at the time, meaning weight was not to blame for their being clumsy.

In fact, factors such as body mass at childhood and social class were both taken into account and adjusted. The findings were still solid. So what causes the link (if indeed there realy is one)? Well, that is the question, isn;t it? Researchers considered smoking during pregnancy a possibility as well as children not getting enough exercise during childhood--which is critical to developing fine motor skills.

pic by vlauria.

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For some parents, the typical kids' chore chart ends up being more chore than it's worth.

Whether it's from improvements in nutrition or chemicals in the food, the fact is many children are physically maturing at a much earlier age. While menstruation used to start around age 12, girls are reaching that developmental milestone much earlier, which is one of the reason salons are seeing the age of hair removal clients getting younger and younger.

"It's not uncommon for girls to get their period at 9 or 10 years old, and with that development comes increased hair growth," said Dr. Doris Pastor, a clinical associate professor of pediatrics at Mount Sinai Hospital.

Taking an early developer's feelings into consideration and getting hair removal at a young age to prevent or curb teasing is one thing, but salon workers see more than just motherly concern from some women. Many pre-teen hair removal appointments are for girls accompanied by women who appear to be trying to make their daughters look perfect.

"I had a mother who brought her daughter in, pulled up her shirt and asked us to wax the girl's back. The hair didn't seem to be bothering the little girl, but the mom was embarrassed and wanted it done," said Diane Fisher, owner of Eclips Salon and Eclips Kids Day Spa in McLean and Ashburn, Va. "I told the mom to wait until the child wanted it, but she refused." That little girl was just six years old.

Humans aren't supposed to be completely hairless save for the top of their head and eyebrows, but it seems like the new ideal is to look like a life-size Bratz doll. That there are mothers so invested in the appearance of their kindergartner's backs that they're willing to pay to have hot wax applied and the hair yanked off appalls me.

What is going on with the adults?!

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Where I live, the first of the leaves have begun to turn red on a handful of maples, and the crickets are singing their ruckus end of summer song. In a matter of days, school will start.

In a matter of days, if you have a kindergartner or first grader, your child will be embarking on a completely new academic adventure. Back pack in tow, your kid will climb onto a yellow school bus at the curb, or perhaps you'll drive her there and watch as she runs towards her classroom door with a lump the size of a mango pit in your throat.

The first day of school is a nervy, butterflies-in-your-stomach kind of morning for everyone--and to make sure it goes as smoothly as possible, here are a list of a few things to expect and remember on that all important day.

Start the morning with a good breakfast. Much research has been done about the link between breakfast and academic success. And while the first few days (or weeks even) of kindergarten and first grade are less about plunging into academics and more about building a strong classroom community, a good breakfast will give your child an added boost of confidence. Hungry kids are often anxious and moody, and sugar-packed pop tarts and other breakfast items often leave kids crashing mid morning. Opt for oatmeal with brown sugar and raisins, french toast, scrabbled eggs, or even, my son's favorite (our family's version of a toad in the hole): a grilled bagel with a fried egg in the hole.

Pack a healthy snack. After your child arrives in her new classroom, she'll likely spend the morning doing fun activities such as drawing, writing her name and decorating a name tag, and participating in a morning meeting where all the children will get to meet each other and be introduced. Before she starts to delve into the academic part of the morning your child will probably have a chance to eat snack. Remember, many--if not most--classrooms have children with peanut and nut allergies, so instead of packing these stand-bys opt for other protein rich options like a mini bagel & cream cheese, string cheese, yogurt, or veggies & hummus. Your child probably won't eat a lot--so instead of packing a huge amount of one thing, pack small amounts of foods your child likes in reusable containers (think GREEN!)

Include a note. New kindergartners and first graders love getting notes--and their teachers will always be willing to read them--so don't worry if your child can't read yet. Something as simple as "We are so proud of you!" on a post-it, or as fancy as a little letter on specialized princess stationary will make the rest of your child's morning just that much more positive.

After snack your child will probably spend some time exploring books, even if she is not yet a reader, and some time investigating basic math concepts. Your child might also have the chance to meet a few more new teachers if her class has a "special" like music, art, P.E. or technology scheduled for the morning.

Make sure your child will be having a healthy lunch. If your child will be eating a hot lunch from the cafeteria--go over the lunch options in advance, so that there are no tears when she gets something she doesn't want to eat. On days that the menu doesn't work, or if you send a cold lunch every day, remember to think in terms of something from every food group. There are so many great blogs and websites out there right now to provide inspiration for school lunches. I'm kind of into the idea of bento boxes--except, does anyone really have as much time as this super mom to make your kid's lunch look this cool?

In the afternoon your child will probably spend some time listening to a read aloud, doing an art or craft activity, writing, and sharing. A good lunch will give her the necessary foundation for afternoon success and happiness. One thing I can't help but rant about here--because I see it every year--are those ridiculous pre-packaged lunches. The portion sizes are too small--for any of the foods that contain actual nutritional content--and they are packed with sugar and sodium which invariably result in grumpy tired kids. Skip them except for an occasional treat (if at all.)

Be on time to pick your child up. Whether you're meeting your child at the bus stop, or picking her up at school--nothing is worse for your kiddo than expecting to see you...and then not. If you're running really late or are stuck in traffic, call the school secretary and she'll pass the message on to your child's teacher.

Ask specific questions. Without a doubt your child will have an amazing first day--but when you ask her "How was your day?" Odds are she'll say "Fine." And that will be that. The trick to finding out more about your kid's day is to ask her specific questions--like: "Did you find someone to play with at recess?" "What was your favorite thing about lunch time?" or "Did your teacher read a book to the class today?" These kinds of questions will get your child started talking--and soon you'll know all about how their first day went.

As a teacher, the first day of school is one of my favorite days. I love watching the kids come in and get started--bustling and eager, or shy and reserved. I love their new school clothes and their brand new back packs and their ready grins. Happy back-to-school!

It's hard to believe, but we are mere weeks (days for some parts of the country!) away from returning to the early morning scrambling to get kids ready for school.

One of the biggest time-wasters of those precious pre-dawn hours involves the all-important "Choosing of the Clothes". However, we've found some craft ideas that when combined with a little pre-planning can make this year wardrobe worry-free for your kids!

One super-simple tactic to try out before the buses even start rolling requires- absolutely nothing! Just ask your child to create a kid out of the clothes they plan on wearing the next day somewhere in their room. If it's the sort of room where neatness reigns, this should take care of the problem, and it can be a fun project for kids to style and pose their "clothing kids" differently every night.

However, if your child isn't diligent about keeping their room picked up, a "clothing kid" on the floor may just add to the madness. If that's the case, try taking the organizing upward! Keep an eye out at thrift stores or garage sales for a sturdy coat tree, or make your own using pine boards from the lumberyard. In addition to assisting with assembly, painting a wooden clothing holder to suit their fancy will give the child a sense of ownership. Every evening, the clothing tree should be decorated with the next day's outfit, including socks, underwear and a belt hung from the hooks.

If the bedroom lackings the floor space necessary for a clothing tree, a closet will do the trick and provide the additional perk of allowing the child to plan their wardrobe for the entire week. Hanging organizers can hold six day's worth of clothing and larger ones (not the shoe organizers, which will quickly become too cramped to hold an entire outfit) have enough space to allow labels (quickly and easily created with felt letters glued onto a felt rectangle label and then sewn onto the organizer) to be attached to the side or on the top, hanging down in the openings.

And if closet space is also problematic, here's the last (and greatest!) idea: large felt tags that fit OVER the hangers. The genius part of this idea is that it can actually SAVES space by getting pants out of the drawer and sharing the same place as the shirts! Supplies required are minimal: just a large enough piece of felt (suggested size is 18 x12") for each day of the week, strong hangers, and perhaps some clothes pins to make sure the pants stay on the hangers until they are needed. Cut the top corners off the felt rectangle, cut a hole in the top for the hanger to fit through, slice two X's in the bottom to hold socks and underwear and embellish as desired. (This would be an excellent place to practice some sewing skills! Buttons and rickrack would be adorable!)

With just a little planning, getting dressed in the morning can be a painless process for everyone and get the day off to a great start!

I think it is great when a child discovers a passion early in life. Deciding what you want to be when you grow up before you change your college major three times saves a lot of time, money and frustration. Fifth-grader Lilly Hibbs didn't have to look far from home to figure out what her life's work would be. With a body-piercing mom and a tattoo artist dad, it makes sense that Lilly herself would go into the 'body decoration' field. She has decided that tattoos are her passion and that she will follow her father into the business.

For Lilly, this isn't just a dream that may someday come true. She's already begun her training and completed her first job. At the age of seven, she drew and inked a likeness of Patrick from SpongeBob SquarePants on her dad's leg. As for dad, he couldn't be prouder. "Most parents would say, 'I can't believe your kid wants to be a tattoo artist.' I say, 'I can only be lucky if my kid turns out to be a tattoo artist,'" Stephen Hibbs said.

Soon after Stephen posted an online video of his daughter working on the Patrick tattoo, Lilly got her first real customer. A man drove all the way from North Carolina to Dallas to have Lilly tattoo an anchor on him. I wonder if he drove all that way just for the novelty of having a child tattoo him, or if it was Lilly's bargain rate of just $5 that attracted him.

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My wife pointed out this very interesting article about a woman's experience trying to get her five-year-old daughter into a kindergarten in London -- Nancy Zuckerbrod's family is moving across the pond. It turned out that her daughter Olivia was well behind what was expected of kids entering Kindergarten in England. She has what the head teacher of the British school called a "learning gap".

Apparently, five-year-olds in England can read, tell time, and handle fractions. Olivia is an intelligent girl who did attend pre-kindergarten in the US. Her education, however, included planting seeds, learning about insects, and "mastering the monkey bars," rather than the academic subjects the British kids were learning. At first, she felt pretty bad, but then decided that she was okay with where her daughter is, and she'll just have to catch up.

Play-based learning is the norm in American pre-schools, and, personally, I think that's the right way to go. Four-year-olds need to learn about the properties of matter, gravity and other natural forces, and creative expression through activities like playing in the sand box, building with blocks, and finger-painting before they need to get into the nuts and bolts of describing them with fractions and time.

There are, however, those who believe strongly in academic pre-schools, including, apparently, the UK. But, as Mrs. Zuckerbrod says, "a child's most important teachers are his or her parents." Her daughter will catch up, even as the British kids struggle to catch up on the monkey bars.

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My five-year-old can't wait to go school shopping and drools over the markers, novelty erasers, and pencil boxes each time we go shopping. Now is a good time, with stores pricing things low for the back-to-school season.

But if you're trying to be a little more frugal this year or just like to make use of household items you already have of hand, Reader's Digest has a few suggestions for homemade school supplies. Some of them are a little nonsensical -- making index cards out of paper plates, for one. A pack of paper plates would cost you more than a pack of index cards right now, but the tip might be handy on a Sunday night when your tween announces he needs them for school the next day.

Others, like three-hole punching a ziploc bag and putting it into your child's three-ring binder to hold pencils and erasers might just work. And if you're a recycling family, there are a lot of other unusual uses for household goods that might otherwise be thrown away.

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