Nearly 5 years ago, I found myself at a wedding in a city far from my home, away from my 3-month-old twins who'd been born prematurely, and had recently been released from the NICU.

The fact that I would leave my family at such a time to travel to this wedding says a lot about the couple being married that day: I'd known the bride since girlhood and felt as close to her as if she were a sister.

Being mom to 3 children was still new to me, then; people would ask if I had kids and I'd answer, "Yes, a 4-year-old," and then hastily add, "And twins! The babies are 3 months."

Only sometimes did I say that my son Avery had Down syndrome. I didn't have the words figured out, yet. I didn't know how to manage my reactions as well as the reactions of others. Even the terms were problematic: sometimes I'd say "Down syndrome," sometimes I preferred "Trisomy 21," which sounded (to me) more scientific and was less likely to elicit stereotypes.

Too, I sometimes said too much. I'd go into great detail about all of it--my water breaking at dawn (what a lovely image!) and the premature delivery and Avery's diagnosis, on and on, until I was exhausted and so was my poor conversation partner, whom I'm sure was regretting the one simple question that unlocked Pandora's box.

We've all seen swimmer Micheal Phelps' mother and sisters cheering him on from the stands as he makes history at the Beijing Olympics. Conspicuously missing from this family picture is his father, Fred. Not only is Fred absent in China, he hasn't even spoken to his son since the games began.

"He's so busy, I'm sure not even his agent can get a hold of him," Fred said. "I'm very proud of him and all he's done. This is not about me, it's about him."
Michael's parents were high school sweethearts who divorced when he was just nine years old. "It was like a storybook [marriage], but sometimes chapters go in different directions," says his mother Debbie. "We were close, but we grew apart."

Clearly Fred Phelps grew apart not just from his wife, but from his son as well. When Fred showed up at the 2004 Olympic Games in Athens, Michael admitted that up until that point, he hadn't been in contact with his father since he graduated high school. He also revealed that his father hadn't even reached out to him after he set his first world record in 2001. "There are reasons and I really don't want to get into that," Michael said.

Whatever those reasons were, they clearly were not resolved. After the 2004 Games, father and son became estranged once more. And while Fred Phelps watches from afar, Michael Phelps gives credit for his success where credit is due. "The person I love the most is sitting in the front row - my mom - for everything she's done," Michael told reporters in Beijing.

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Haute mamas to be watch out: Christian Siriano is launching a line of maternity wear! The Project Runway winner is set to unveil the line for mamas to be in Spring 2009. Pity I won't be pregnant anymore (I hope) although it may be reason enough to get knocked up if you've been considering it. Chances are, if you are pregnant and you buy Siriano's stuff, you'll look glam.

Siriano and two of his fashion buddies, Marta Abrams and Elise Rosemarin, collaborated on the line. Abrams and Rosemarin head up Moody Mama maternity wear. The collection, much like Mr. Siriano, is being called Fierce (for Moody Mama).

Funny enough, a rep for Moody Mama says Siriano joined up because he thought it would be good if a gay man and two women who'd never had children designed maternity wear together. What do you think--is it important for the designer of preggo-wear to have been preggo herself, or does it matter? I doubt Bill Blass spent a lot of time in evening gowns, but what they hey do I know. I'm sure the line from Siriano will be stunning to say the least--in looks, anyway (no word on the price).

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Felicity Huffman is frazzled, ya'll. And she has every right to be. Not only is Huffman star of the big and little screens, she's also wife to actor William H. Macy and a mom. In fact, Huffman says her motherhood is probably what landed her the star's most famous role, as Lynette on television's Desperate Housewives.

Huffman left two of her three kids in the bathtub and plodded through the rain to make it to the Housewives audition. She thought she'd managed to pull it together but says those who auditioned her liked the fact that she was "a mess" and "frazzled." Also, and this is my favorite, part, her pants were dirty. Sounds like motherhood to me!

Felicity admitted to the agents that she was going crazy with the kids. According to her, the women in the room looked at her like she was crazy; but then, you know, she got the role. I don't watch the show, but from Huffman's comments it sounds like the frazzledness is just right for her character. And, let's be honest--does this woman EVER look frazzled? No. But, as a mom myself I am sure there are times when, indeed, she is.

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Is there a link between having an aboriton and depression, or other psychological maladies? According to the American Psychological Association, not if a woman has only had one abortion. In a report that came out last Wednesday, women who have one abortion are no more likely to suffer depression or other mental health problems than women who go on to have their babies.

To be clear, the abortions in question were those that were elective and in the first trimester. Prior mental health as well as self-esteem issues and the fear of stigma were the main factors in post-abortion health, according to the study. Also according to the report, which I find really hard to believe, is that half--HALF!--of American women will experience an unwanted pregnancy and that about half of those--a quarter, for those of you doing the math--will get an abortion. That's a LOT of people.

I also think that it's one thing to look at a hundred studies, but it's another to talk to the women who've made this choice themselves. And yet another for those women to feel like they can be honest with their responses and reasoning behind getting an abortion. I've never had to make that choice, but I know people who have. And let me tell you something--they come from all different backgrounds, are different ages, etc. And each of those women has had to deal with the decision she made for the rest of her life. I am all for women being in charge of their bodies and strongly support the pro-choice movement, but to say that having an abortion doesn't affect a woman's mental health (for better or worse), at least for some period of time, might be a little misleading.

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Let's face it: if you are wrangling kids all day (even if it's not every day) you need great flat shoes, the kind that you can walk a thousand miles in, and that let you run or climb when necessary. Instead of opting for flip flops or Crocs because they're easy, choose a flat with some style and panache, and give your kid-wrangling duds a little bit of style.

When you are shopping for a flat, look for a sturdy sole, something that's not slippery; look for a toe box that is wide enough to accommodate your foot comfortably; look for a cushioned insole to keep your legs happy. When you shop for lower end shoes, think about buying one size up and adding a gel insert, to keep feet and legs from getting worn out mid day.

Look for color and details, too, because your shoes should be part of your whole look, not just something you toss on as you leave the house.

Here are five great flats for late summer and early fall. Put those Crocs away and put on some pretty shoes.

Metallic flats are a simple way to give your Mom Uniform an edge.

Why we love these: Clean styling in a metallic faux leather is classic and trendy all at once.

Wear them with: Capri pants or boot cut jeans; choose a hemline that hits either at the ankle or within half an inch of the floor.

American Eagle Clique Moc, $24.99 at Payless. Also available in black patent.

Driving moccasins are a simple way to merge comfort and style when you're chasing busy kids.

Why we love these: The bright yellow and the cool detailing on the toe make these more than just a basic flat.

Wear them with: Jeans, either a boot cut or a skinny jean, or with a simple A-line skirt.

Merona Marcela moccasin, $24.99 at Target.

Summer's not over yet, and there is still time for a great sandal.

Why we love these: The ankle strap keeps them on your feet, but the bright color and cool embellishment make them more interesting than flip flops or Crocs.

Wear them with: Bermuda shorts or a skirt or a sundress.

Old Navy Patent Bauble T-strap sandals, $19.50. Available in four colors, including basic black.

A basic flat doesn't have to be basic -- look for great detailing to dress up your everyday shoes.

Why we love these: The bow is feminine without being too girly, and the color is a perfect addition to any outfit.

Wear them with: Skinny jeans or cropped pants or a skirt.

Jill bow detail skimmer, $49.00 at Ann Taylor Loft. Available in three colors.

The combination of suede and patent dresses up this very casual shoe.

Why we love these: The Mary Jane styling gives these flats a hip edge that's still practical for everyday.

Wear them with: Jeans or a skirt and tights.

a.n.a. Stayton Mary Jane, $50.00 at JCPenney.

Did you and your significant other take a break from the kids this summer? Did you jet off to some exotic locale and enjoy some one-on-one with the one you love? Yeah, me neither. In fact, I don't know one single couple who managed to get away from the kids and spend some quality time alone together this summer. This is definitely good news for our bank accounts, but what about our relationships?

In these times of rising prices and economic uncertainty, what are parents supposed to do when they need a little time to reconnect without the pitter patter of little feet to distract them? A dinner out is nice, but a lot of couples are opting for an adult staycation. It's just like the family staycations we've been talking about, minus the family.

Checking into a local hotel for a night or two may seem a waste with kids, but it definitely has some appeal for parents alone. Lining up a weekend sitter and escaping to a nearby resort or just a nice downtown hotel is the perfect way to get away without getting too far away. I don't know about you, but the opportunity to lounge by a pool, sleep late and order room service is all I really want from a vacation anyway. What about you? Have you enjoyed an adult staycation this year?

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My middle son Avery is sitting too close to the television, which is an old fight and not one I'm particularly interested in revisiting at the moment. Like most of America, we've watched the dazzling opening ceremonies of the Olympics in Beijing and we're hooked. I'm rooting for the moms: weightlifter Melanie Roach whose son has autism, and gymnast Oksana Chusovitina, who moved to Germany for her son's oncology treatments.

Avery has 2 favorite events: swimming and gymnastics. When the athletes line up across the pool, he counts, "One, two, three," and then says and signs the word "Go!" The sign for go is thumbs up, index fingers pointing forward, like a starter's gun going off.

If Avery's countdown matches the actual one, and the swimmers dive on his "Go!" he brings his hands to his face and covers it, shy, giggling, and extra-pleased with himself. Avery is 5-years-old. He's my middle son, a fraternal twin, and he has Down syndrome.

Having Down syndrome means, in this instance, that the gymnastics events of the Olympics are one place where he can watch other people who are as flexible as he is. He rolls around our carpet and spreads his legs into splits, or folds himself in half, pulling his feet up to his ears. For good measure, he flips back over and kicks his leg up into the air, so that his toes are almost touching the top of his head.

And when he's finished, he jumps to standing and raises his hands in the air, like the Olympians he sees on television. He waves to the crowd (usually me) then struts off into the kitchen, which is my cue to burst into applause. He returns, shy and giggling again, and dives into my lap for a hug.

Avery is healthy and has had excellent medical care since his birth. As his family, we've received help in the form of physical therapy and speech therapy and connections through our local child development center. We've been able to meet and enjoy other families who live with Down syndrome at annual events, like the upcoming Buddy Walks, which usually take place in the fall and are organized by the more than 275 affiliates across the country. All these things are a normal and natural part of living with disability in the United States; but these rights are not available everywhere in the world.

Before Avery came into my life, like most people, I was aware of another Olympics, a different one, a special one. But it wasn't until I was watching the Beijing Olympics with Avery that I began to understand their importance. The Special Olympics is an international, nonprofit organization dedicated to improving the life of children and adults with intellectual disabilities, by encouraging them to become physically fit through sports training and competition.

And with more than 500,000 athletes from China, more than 210,000 in India, nearly 550,000 in the United States, 600 in Afghanistan and 4,400 in Rwanda, the Special Olympics is more than a sports organization for people with intellectual disabilities--it's a powerful force for social change.

Before this year, my favorite part of the Olympics used to be the medals ceremonies. I loved the athletes for their single-minded pursuit of excellence; when they'd lower their heads ever-so-slightly to receive the medals around their necks, tears always came to my own eyes. To me, the athletes represented perfection, or at least, the human endeavor to obtain it.

But now, watching the Olympics in Beijing this year, with Avery twirling and spinning across our carpet to the music of the floor exercises, or seeing his delight and excitement when the swimmers kick and splash their way to the final lap, I can't help but think that I've been missing the point.

I recalled the opening ceremony--the thousands of athletes marching proudly around the venue. I remembered an announcer commented that most of the participants will not receive medals; that in fact, many countries have never received any medals. And yet they were there, part of it, their dreams shining as brightly as anyone's.

They remind me of Avery, and the extra hours of hard work it took him to learn to walk. Or the amazing concentration it takes for him to speak the word "Go." Or the truly remarkable resilience of the human spirit. It's not the medal that matters to me, anymore. It's where you start, and how you finish, and what you make of the journey in between.

It seems like it should be common sense. Don't diet while pregnant. Yet for many moms these days that seems to be the trend. Many of them are successful at it--but at what cost to their unborn children? In the United States as well as in the UK, pregnant women are succumbing to what is being termed "pregorexia," wherein the consume as little as possible during pregnancy to avoid weight gain. Experts agree this is harmful to both mother and unborn child. Fetuses get their nutrients straight from mommy; when she doesn't supply enough, like with calcium, they get it from her bones. If they can't get the nutrient from the mother, they suffer--kids are born prematurely, with a low birth weight and an increased risk of spina bifida all from mothers being underweight during pregnancy.

In Hollywood, the recent barrage of women giving birth would have have us think they were barely pregnant at all. Most of them gain hardly and weight and sport only the tell-tale bump. Almost as soon as they've given birth, they return to their pre-pregnancy weight, which was scandalously low in the first place. Some, like Nicole Kidman, have even drawn harsh rumors that she was never even pregnant at all--after seeing her less than a month post-baby her body was scarily small, prompting the media to generate the notion that her sister, who'd basically remained under cover during the pregnancy, was the one actually carrying the baby.

With all these Hollywood celebrities maintaining tiny frames while they attempt to bring another human being into the world, it's hard to not feel the pressure to be thin in our own lives. Forget the fact that it's pure misogyny at work, isn't it also the worst thing in the world to deprive not only yourself but your unborn child of vital nutrients and sustenance? Experts suggest that women of normal weight (meaning not underweight nor overweight) gain between 20-25 pounds during a pregnancy. That number was recently lowered from the old notion of anywhere from 25-35 pounds (and in some cases 40). instead of worrying about gaining too much weight, shouldn't we be more focused on getting our children--and ourselves--the nutrition needed to be happy and healthy?

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Last week, a group of breastfeeding mothers and their supporters gathered in an H&M clothing store in downtown Vancouver for a nurse-in. The protest was prompted by the experience of Manuela Valle, who recently attempted to breastfeed her two-week-old child in that store, only to be told that she could not. The store clerk told Valle it was their policy to prevent customers from being offended and suggested that Valle feed her baby in a special fitting room, out of the sight of others. Valle was not happy. "I told them I would publicly campaign against their policy because it is wrong and discriminatory. It punished me for breastfeeding by putting me in seclusion and thus confirmed the idea that public breastfeeding is offensive and shameful."

Valle kept her word and on Thursday, a group of women, children and fathers packed the store to draw attention to the situation. One of the organizers of the event, Veronica Polanska, says the protest wasn't specifically aimed at H&M, but at any business that would suggest that nursing a child in public is shameful and should be hidden.

"It's about every business, whether it's an airline or whether it's a restaurant, whether it's a pool ... it doesn't matter where it happens, it's not acceptable.

Considering that an estimated 90 to 95 percent of Canadian mothers breastfeed their babies, it is no wonder that the issue has been officially addressed by the British Columbia Human Rights Commission. In 2000, they issued a policy and procedure manual that says public facilities are to accommodate lactating women and specifies that mothers are allowed to breastfeed or express milk in public places.

I guess it is going to take a more than a policy and procedure manual to convince certain people that breastfeeding is not sexual, offensive or in any way inappropriate. Just what will it take?

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